Blind Spots

In the Marriage and Family Therapy program at Bethel Seminary, we talk incessantly about self awareness and how important it is for one to be aware of presuppositions, biases, and ways of viewing the world to be an effective therapist. Shouldn't we all be challenged to think about these things?

Last fall I entrusted with a few of my classmates a true fear of mine. What if others know me better than myself? Of course, that initially sounds like ludicrous. Certainly we know ourselves better than anyone possibly could, right? I would argue that on some level this is essentially the case. Nobody else can understand exactly how we are feeling, what we are thinking, or the ways we are experiencing the world in which we live.

But where are my blind spots? Where do others have advantages over me in knowing...me? Think about looking at yourself in the mirror. Now think about looking at yourself in a photograph. In both of these instances, you are viewing a reproduced image of yourself. In fact, that is all you have seen of your own face(unless you have had some out of body experience in which you have looked at your physical self as a third party would...but I have yet to meet anyone who has experienced this!). Let's face it...you, and I, have only seen carbon copies of our true selves. I have never seen my face in the exact way you see it, and you have not seen yours the way I see it.

So where am I going with this? Think for a second about that one person who drives your crazy. Perhaps it was a pesky elementary school classmate, a brother or sister, or someone who you encounter on your daily stop at the local corner coffee shop. For a moment, ask yourself whether that person intentionally bothers you (of course, this analogy does fall apart when someone in fact does intentionally bother you...). Most of us would have to humbly admit that no, in fact that person doesn't intend to be a nuisance. And, I might argue, we claim to know something of that person that he or she does not because we possess a perception that the "annoying" person does not.

Where are my blind spots? Where do others have advantages over me in knowing...me? What do people of say of me that I would be shocked to hear? How are these blind spots affecting my relationships with those around me? In what ways are these blind spots negatively affecting others? Conversely, in what ways am I bringing joy to those around me without knowing?

Self awareness is a dynamic journey on which I always hope to venture. As I learn more about myself, I anticipate developing a greater understanding of how who I am affects others. My goal in this journey is to learn enough about who I am that my perception of myself and others' perceptions of me coincide in pseudo-harmony, understanding that I will always have blind spots and there will always be room for growth.

Here's to knowing myself better and understanding that you will always have an advantage over me in knowing me fully.

Well it has been months since I've updated this thing. Somewhere in between writing papers and reading oodles of books about this, that, and the other thing, this blogging business just didn't make the cut.

Life has been incredibly chaotic recently, and I am ready for things to unwind . School, work, volunteering, family...it all adds up pretty quickly. 5 of the last 6 weekends have been spent away from home, and this weekend the family is coming to us.

I love family time and doing the things we have been doing, but I truly believe we just need time to rest. I sometimes find it difficult to give and give without taking time for my own renewal. I am convinced that God wants rest for us. Constantly we see that Jesus went away and praying and resting. I will have to remember this when I am a therapist. A professor of mine told me that therapists need to take vacations, not as a luxury, but out of necessity for their own sanity. When she said that, I just knew I was going into the right profession...

Off to start another day at work, and then home for the weekend. I hope parts of this weekend will bring rest, relaxation, and some much needed time with my husband.

Until next time...whenever that might be! :)