Joy, Joy, Joy

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not that I don't think this much all the time, but my thinking has revolved around my future. What does my future hold? In the midst of contemplation about what is to come, I found myself thinking about what has already passed. I had a dream last night about a group of girls who had an enormous impact on who I've become. We shared a lot of laughter and tears in our times together, and the thought of missing them chokes me up. Today I couldn't shake the thought of those girls...how much they meant to me...how much they still mean to me. It was because of my experience with them that I found my passion for serving, my desire to wash the feet of others', my need to let the Lord's love ooze out of my every pore.

At first, I was sad. I was sad because it has been so long since I've been with these girls. I was sad because I know that some of them have strayed from what they know to be right. I was sad because I know that I won't ever again have with them what I did before.

But I then I was joyful. I was overwhelmed with a peace that only comes from my Creator, and I was overflowing with joy! There was a moment when I actually closed my eyes, and in the middle of my quiet office space at work, I sang praises to the Lord.

How wonderful that we can be so deeply touched by those around us. It's easy to forget the ways we are influenced by people from our past, but everything that has happened in my life, up until this very moment, has molded me into me. My today will affect who I am tomorrow. My tomorrow will affect who I am the following day. The chain will continue, with lessons to be learned, laughs to be had, and tears to spill...until the very day I die. So really, it's all but a continuous process of learning who I am and finding the ways God can continue to use me.

I don't know what the future holds. I will never know...from every day there is always an unknown future. But I'm thankful for my yesterdays - even the hard ones - and for the many tomorrows to come.