Rules for Interaction

I'm a student in a marriage and family therapy program that focuses on the self of the therapist. One of the primary thrusts of the program is differentiation of self. Over and over again we are invited to look at and attend to issues within ourselves, know ourselves, and grow as whole persons so that we might better serve our clients. I think it's brilliant.

These are the guidelines we follow in all of our course interactions:

·         Keep breathing and stay in the room.

·         Presume welcome and extend welcome.  Make a place for yourself and others in the conversation – in informal interaction, in small group discussion, and in large group interaction.

·         Refrain from fixing, saving, or setting straight others in the class.

·         When the interaction gets tricky, turn to inquiry rather than advocacy (wonder about something instead of defending something).  Pay attention to the distinction between dialogue (which begins with a question) and debate (which begins with an answer). Make sure your questions are real questions, not ones intended to make a point, demonstrate prior knowledge, or communicate a hidden agenda. 

·         Speak for yourself and own responsibility for your statements.

·         Think of silence as another member of the class.

·         Observe confidentiality, especially regarding material shared by other students.

How would the world look if we all committed to interacting with one another along these guidelines?