What a Summer!

I've done a phenomenal job ignoring my blog for the last few months. Perhaps I've thought there was nothing exciting to share, but in fact, there is much to be thankful for and a great deal has happened.

First of all, I'll be heading back to school in September. I couldn't be more anxious, and I couldn't be more ready. When graduation rolled around in May, I was devastated to be removed from a formal learning environment, but I also knew that I would be heading back to school in a few months. I'm excited for this next chapter and can't wait to experience the ways I'll be challenged as I enter a graduate program. I have a feeling I'll be stretched in unimaginable ways - I can't wait!

Second of all, I got a new job! I am so thrilled to be back at Bethel as staff and thus far have enjoyed the transition into my new role. There is something wonderful to be said about working with people who are passionate about what they are doing and who see their jobs as part of a bigger picture. I feel so blessed to serve Bethel in a new capacity and anticipate great things moving forward.

Third, we moved! Life was great in our old place, but living more intentionally in the city has been so refreshing. I'm looking forward to getting to know our neighbors and learning from what they have to offer as well.

Fourth...God is good. I sometimes forget to acknowledge the many blessings I've been given because I'm caught up in the day-to-day worries of life. Today has been a day of intentional thanksgiving as I've become more aware of the many non-tangible riches surrounding my every moment.

Off to bed feeling excited for what's to come...

Procrastinating at its best...

So I'm sitting at a local coffee shop trying to get some writing done on Bonhoeffer's Christological theology and how that impacted his understanding of the church and Christian community. I must admit, it's been a bit of a challenge to get working on this paper. Although I find the topic completely intriguing, I've been consumed with much to do for other classes, work, and that thing we like to call job-hunting...not to mention getting accepted to a graduate program that I'm thrilled to be starting this fall! All that to say, that last couple of months have been a bit of a whirlwind, so I'm finding myself at the end of my allotted time and scrambling to finish this paper. 

The weather doesn't help. It is BEAUTIFUL outside...blue skies, green grass, and the sun is shining. If I could only take classes during the winter months, I'm convinced I would be so much more productive. Looking out the window at the beauty that is spring has me longing for a boat ride, watermelon, and a perfect summer night's bonfire. 

Oh yes, but back to Bonhoeffer. I sometimes wonder how we make it through times like this...so much to do and so little available time to do it. I'm amused by the updates on Facebook at this time of year: everyone is over-abundantly thankful for the weekend, everyone is complaining about having to much to do, and everyone is itching for a summer day. 

Random thought: Have you ever thought what people would think if they could get inside your head and hear your thoughts? Or watch you 24 hours a day and see your every move? I'm sure...most people have thought these kinds of things...but really, stop to think about it. In my attempt to eat healthier, I've been adding a boiled egg to my breakfast for a boost of protein. I've noticed that each time I bite into my boiled egg, I always hope that I'm biting into the end that the yoke has ended up on. Most of the time I can't see from the outside which side the yoke has gravitated to, so I try to guess. Nerdy? Yes. But you know you do weird things like this too.

Okay, I suppose I should get back to work on my paper. I've learned over time that these things don't write themselves (surprising, I know). Until next time...

SC

Who Am I?

Who Am I? 

Who am I? They often tell me

I stepped from my cell’s confinement

Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,

Like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me

I used to speak to my warders

Freely and friendly and clearly,

As though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me

I bore the days of misfortune

Equally, smilingly, proudly,

Like one accustomed to win.

 

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?

Or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

Struggling for breath, as though hands were

compressing my throat,

Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

Tossing in expectation of great events,

Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,

Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

 

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,

And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, March 4,1946

Twitter

Somebody has to explain to me what is so great about Twitter. Perhaps I don't see the use in it because I don't have one of those fancy phones that possesses capabilities to allow me to fly. I've heard those kinds of phones (and the plans that go with them) make Twitter more fun.
But psychologically, why do we feel the need to let everyone (or anyone, for that matter) know what we are doing at every moment of the day? I have to laugh at myself when I catch myself thinking in terms of Facebook statuses (which, to my understanding, is basically what Twitter is). I rarely update my own Facebook status, but I'll think of what I would write if I was going to change it. For example, for whatever reason I get slightly irritated when someone, instead of stopping and holding the door for me, will give it a little extra push as if to say, "Here, let me help you by making sure the door opens really wide and swings back at you even faster." I've thought about that scenario in a Facebook status: "Sarah is irritated by people who...." Embarrassing.

But WHY do we feel compelled to share those things? What is significant about it? Sure, I can understand sharing exciting news with everyone or something along those lines, but why the "I'm getting ready for work" updates? Aren't most of us getting ready for work/school at 7am?

I don't know...I think it would make for an interesting study. For now, I'll just keep the majority of my status updates to myself, thinking in terms of "Sarah is...." without sharing it with the world :)

Watch, I'll be "tweeting" next week.

-S

I love Google.

So...I have a confession. I rarely get overly excited about consumerist mindsets, but I have developed a relationship with Google that cannot possibly be replaced. Have you ever noticed that Google does...well...everything? From a database of academic journal articles to a photo viewer/editor, from designing a house to keeping track of your medical records, Google has it all. If you have not yet discovered some of the many wonderful offerings by this ingenius group of people, I highly recommend that you do. What started as a search engine is resulting in an empire, and that empire is one in which I will partake...

And yes, if you're wondering, I'm writing this using Google's web browser, Chrome. I highly recommend it.

It's been a while...

Well it's been a while since I've shared any thoughts, and I realized this when my older brother said, "Sarah...you need to update your blog." So, here I am.

A lot has happened over the course of the last couple months. I'm excited to say that life is taking a little more direction, and I'm feeling at peace about the direction it is going. However, the logistics and all of the details surrounding that direction have kept me awake at night. Sometimes (actually, more often than not!) I wish that I could see into the future and know if everything works out. But would that really be better? Would I even be the same person if I knew what was coming? One could argue that knowing the future would ruin us completely...

On another note, second semester just started and I am thrilled about my classes. I think they will be extremely thought-provoking and, much of the time, very challenging. I anticipate a lot of theological questions, and I can't wait. I've found that the more I learn about God, the more incomprehensible He becomes. That used to scare me, but working through thoughts of doubt and questions about my faith has actually made me fall in love with my Creator even more. He's so complex and simple all at the same time. I love being part of a journey with Him!

Alright, that wasn't much but it's all for now. Until next time...

Oh those thoughts...they haunt me...

Ask my husband if I'm a deep thinker, and he'll respond with a resounding "Yes!" I often pose rhetorical questions that I want to think about but have no idea how to answer. I'm haunted by the depth and complexity of a life that cannot be explained by simple devices of measurement or textbook definitions. I'm haunted by the pain I feel in my mind when I cannot reach a conclusion about an irreconcilable situation. I'm haunted by questions about God, humanity, life, love, the past, the future...all of it. Why can't I find answers to my questions? Why is there so much ambiguity surrounding my every breath? And why, when I feel I reach some sort of end to my search, am I skeptical and look for more? I'm held captive to my brain which is imprisoned by these haunting thoughts...

I am beginning to realize a deep need to put my thoughts, speculations, and curiosities into writing. Not that I always reach any conclusion by doing so, but in some way it helps me. If I have the liberty to think freely about the questions of life, I also have the liberty to write freely about my thoughts surrounding those questions. Why not exercise my liberty to do so?